Bravery

Where have you loverlies gone to? I haven't seen you on here for a while, not I find myself so incredibly important, I am just curious what you are doing now instead of visiting this mess of a thing.

The offer still stands
You are free to tell me what my next lay-out is going to look like and I will make it as spiffy as possible, with my limited photoshop skills. It is not that I got so much time on my hands, but it is spring and perhaps it is time for a little change. Don't be shy, please =], I even threw in a smiley for you!

Bravery
This is what I am pondering on for the last few days, as most of you know I have dyed my hair green last week. This has led to several very divergent reactions, some positive, some negative. Fact is that when I walk on the street I get stared at and most non-verbal reactions are clearly negative, same goes for the verbal reactions I get from stranger. Perhaps this is just because they want to express their negativity, those who think neutral or positive about the colour do not so obviously express their opinion. The only really positive reaction I have gotten so far is along the lines of being brave. How is dying my hair being brave? Is it something I need courage for do I need courage for it or am I simply forgetting how much bravery is costs to do things like this because I am used to it?

If I am someone who is brave, just for dying my hair in a different colour than is normal, does that make anyone who is conforming a coward? I don't like the term conforming, since there will always be someone who is almost exactly like you. Is it so hard for everybody else do just do what they want? I have never considered that everything I do is out of the norm and needs courage to actually do. Perhaps everybody is still old-fashioned and would like to shun me for being different, like they would do in the old days when somebody wasn't going to be the quiet housewife everybody wanted her to be. I just don't consider anything I do out of the ordinary, why wouldn't I do the things I do, they are in my mind so they are quite natural to me.

Does this all relate to belonging to a group, according to my family even belonging to a group of friends is belonging to a group. I really don't know, I don't see my group of friends as a group I want to belong to, I love them very dearly but they are still individuals, everybody is perfect in their own way and everybody is different. The moment they/we are trying to belong to anything something must have gone wrong. There is nothing wrong with being yourself, it is the best thing you can do with your life. In the end all you have is yourself and when you die and there is nobody there for you because your actions didn't fit into their feeble minds you might regret not saying "screw all" and just do whatever you want. I know that I would have been very miserable if I tried to fit in every time I switched class or school or friends. Not that my former friends really appreciated the real me, they much rather had someone not so much like me.

When somebody asks me what subculture I belong to, I wouldn't know what to answer. I do not belong to any subculture because I first learn about things that have happened in the past and when I find something inspiring, something I agree upon I will just keep it in my head. In the end I will follow my own path, but I can still be inspired by the life of the Rock 'n Roll gods, the Hippies, the old-school Goths. Looks and thoughts inspire me, along with art and music, it doesn't make me immediately want to dress like one of them. Of course I would love to look like anyone in that particular genre or subculture, but that is just part of me, because the next day I will want to look like something else. And in the end, green hair is who I truly am, it is not inspired by anything and not pushed on me by anyone. I once dyed it green and for some reason it feels so very natural that I always go back to wanted to have green hair.

So who inspires you to be who you are?