For the first time in a week I woke without having to drag myself out of bed. There is no reason to be cheery, fear does crazy things to humans. I for instance like to wake myself up an hour early and study in the early morning, or try to, or pretend to. Just to give an illusion to myself that I am actually doing something to pass a test. I don't know if I did, I don't think so. It was one of those exams for which you think you study sufficiently, summarising things, studying things and in the end you will still be sitting at your exams with a face like "WTF, I didn't read this in the book!" I don't know why that keeps happening to me, all my exams seems to be about things that weren't in the book or were only a few lines long, but they can ask you ten questions about it, about one fourth of the whole exam. The other thing is that you have to get more than half the answer right to pass. Last period there was a test where you got 1 point for every right answer, 1 1/2 got deducted for every wrong answer, I thought you had to praise people for getting answers right, not punishing them for what they did not understand or study. It is also great when you for 7 lessons and none of those lessons are about what you have to study, what is the point then?
Besides the usual stumbling over college things, I have been cooking like a real lady would. Made lasagna together with my sister. I guess I will take most of the credits, as I made the awesomesause and chopped the onions and mushrooms, tomatoes, fed the cat, cleaned the counter, helped out with mum's groceries, put them in the cupboard and did some girly clothes shopping.
My ideas for tonight were actually getting myself drunk one way or another and making stupid pictures of myself. There is no way I am getting myself drunk without alcohol and I don't feel so much like taking pictures of myself right now, even though they would be hilarious. I wish I had a digital camera of sorts to make those semi-high quality pictures. One day I will be able to.
Tomorrow I will have to buy new bras since I destroyed my last remaining bra. All the underwires are just poking through the fabric, hurting my tits in the process of escaping to the outside world. So now I don't have any bra that fits me anymore.
Today for the first time in a while I doubted myself on being a vegetarian. There are so many people preaching against not eating animals, saying it is unhealthy and that people do it because it is trendy to care for animals. Apparently caring for animals is some sort of trend and doesn't make you cool or makes you belong to an elite group of cool people who are in fact not cool, because why would you care about livestock. Well, I do care about livestock, because how the hell can you just eat lamb, doesn't have an animal the right to live? Who are we to say that they are not allowed to live no longer than 6 months because you are so anxious to get yourself some juicy lamb? I just find that cruel, in this world we do not need to kill animals to survive, we even have greenhouses to grown vegetables in countries where it freezes in the winter, yet there are tomatoes coming from there. I just don't want to be part of the slaughtering of chickens who haven't seen daylight, who are transported in trucks while dead, necks broken and stacked on top of eachother. I don't want to eat the meat of animals who were scared to death because they were slaughtered alive, of pigs that barely survived their week trip from one country to the other.
End of story is that I don't think I can justify myself for having an animal killed for my own sake, since I can survive without hurting an animal for my own gain, which isn't necessary if you have a diet that fits your body's needs. If you find it necessary to eat me, which is quite natural to some of us, I am just not born with sharp canine teeth or a need for meat, that go ahead, just pick your meat carefully, going biological and free range and stuff like that. I rather see a happy animal on a plate than an animal that has lived a horrible life, they taste better too I assure you!
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