Last Day

Tomorrow is the last day of what is called the most difficult exam period of the first year. Today I had financial management and after having so much trouble, freaking out over large numbers and just being so scared to fail that I couldn't possibly answer the question, I felt pretty ok today about it. I won't say I was having an easy time answering the question but I am sure I wasn't playing the fool either as I certainly felt calm and collected throughout the test, which hadn't happened before during any exam including big numbers and calculations.

There are only two weeks left before I have to move my arse somewhere else, nothing in my room is packed yet. It is just really difficult to do so, as I am still living here and my life does not halt. I use my computer every day, I have a big pile of papers lying around. Test-exams, summaries, notes, a lot of other things that help me study. Then there are all the other things I use every day like make-up, clothes, earrings and all that stuff that I need to get dressed.

This weekend I will spend my absolutely free time sewing and shopping. This is the last weekend before the Elf Fantasy Fair and I still need to fix myself a costume.

Yesterday my dad made a comment about the little food I take in that has the support my body. Why is it that everybody things that I need to eat loads of food to get energy. In my eyes, everybody else is eating more than they need to get their body functioning, every day I feel like I am eating twice as much as my body needs, yet I can't do anything about it, because my parents don't want me to eat less. They basically tell me that if I don't eat it, I can't have whatever they give me, or they just really force me to eat. Why do I have to eat when I am not hungry? My sister is hungry every few hours, I am only hungry once a day and they tell me I need to eat more?? I am twice the size as my sister, my body is not the same as hers, I do not digest my food that fast! I just can't have lunch and dinner without feeling absolutely stuffed and sick.

They say that girls have gotten fat, but all I see is walking sticks and I wonder, why do clothing companies want to fit my body into the same outfits as those girls for which they are modelled for. Skinny keeps being in while the whole world screams for healthy looking girls and not the sticks that could have anorexia written all over their bodies.