Only 20 days left before I move, that date is slowly creeping up as I try to navigate myself through the booby-traps of life. I imagine that my parents are watching Indiana Jones downstairs, because honestly, how can you resist watching Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade when it is on the telllie.
Right now, all I am is tired with life. I tried to study today, had my summaries ready, got out of bed early enough but I haven't studied at all. I just feel so down and empty, all I want to do is sleep forever and not worry about anything. I don't want to be anything at all anymore. This, writing down thing that I do on a fairly regular basis, is not going so well. I really have to push myself to write anything. There is just nothing in my brain than empty space, like parasites are draining my grey mass, 'til it becomes a grey jelly, leaking out of my nose like a runny nose.
I do not want to fail, but if it goes on like this, I will be failing. How am I supposed to get out of bed tomorrow, I am getting scared of not being able to do anything tomorrow while I got an exam, which I didn't study for. I just want to be fucking better than this, I don't want to be this negative creature of darkness all the time. Sometimes I want to function like a normal human being.
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