It seems just yesterday that it become official spring, the weather still cold and clammy, the winter jackets still out of the closets and covering my body to keep me warm. Now the first official day of summer has begun and all week it has been pouring outside, spilling the worlds of summer on the asphalt streets below, no Disney sparkles announcing any magic waiting to happen, just bleak and rainy days. This school year is over and I have learned many things, forgotten even more and unfolded like a crippled flower. Three times is the charm, this is my second, what will happen next. Do I get enough credits to makes my dreams come true, even though I have lost my dreams out of sight, or have I failed and do I need to put my weight back in the game and battle on for something better?
This year I set off to become more social, to become a social butterfly in a world that is hesitant towards the unknown and strange. I had promised myself to become a better online friend, to be someone everyone could rely on, to be someone's besty. Somehow it never happened, why is it that I have never got a real best friend that would walk through fires for me, wake me up in the middle of the night just to know that I am still there. There should be new numbers in my cellphone, waiting to be dialled, but there are non. None of the classmates have made it past the classmate stage of familiarity. Instead of having people go up to me, sit next to me in class, they keep away from me like I got pestering boils on my face. Perhaps they see the hideous black thing that grows inside me, better than anyone else, the threat of danger.
On the other side, there were many clubs I wanted to join in my free time, but moving messed up all my plans. Now I've finally moved out of the place I could never really call my home, I become socially active. It's always the wrong time, the wrong place. 120 miles from here, there is a house that won't be my home, here is a house that is not my home and somewhere not far from here there is a house that was never my house. but served me well as my sanctuary.
This summer will be the summer that is not like any summer that I have encountered before. There won't be a huge celebration even though I will turn 21. There won't be a grand holiday destination I can look forward to. I won't even leave the country for the first time in my life. For the first time in my life will my holiday destination be the place that I cannot really leave from. This country isn't me to be my place of anchor, if I was to ever move away from this part of the country it would be out of the country and into the great empire of Great Britain.
Today I will only ask you. If you had the opportunity, the means, anything to take me away from here. Where would you take me to and why would you pick me up to join you for an adventure?
It's adventure I need, a great landscape to discover, friends to spend time with and stories to tell. Sometimes you only need to close your eyes and feel that high to set out on an adventure.
1 comment:
The summer already started in my country. At least in regards to the weather. Although i am pleasantly surprised - usually it's becoming extremely hot and muggy in that part of June. Weather is more pleasurable this year. There is nice wind cooling up the heat and the temperature still hasn't passed over 30 degrees.
About the question: You seem to be a good company for adventuring. Free, dreamy soul. If i had the opportunity I'd take to a whole round the world trip. :)Always wanted to undertake such voyage. Really long trip, visiting different countries, continents, islands...The world in your palm.
Otherwise, more specifically I really enjoy visiting the city of Venice. The atmosphere - so artistic and colorful. Been there 2 times. Want to go again. And i haven't been much to the northern part of Europe. Also would like to visit Lapland. and I haven't been to your country too. Easter Island is one extremely faraway, beautiful and mystical destination, I would also head for one day. anyway - there are so many more interesting beautiful places to visit. And i somehow can't feel the black thing inside you. maybe because it's blacker in me and your blackness doesn't trouble me. Who knows..
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