What Right have I

What right do I have to complain about all the things I complain about. There are so many others so much worse off than me and I still produce the sound of negativity from my vocal chords into this world, while I have no reason to be negative. I live in the luxury of the first world, of a western, democratic civilisation and my father earns above average. I study at university, got friends, got money, got a roof above my head and clothes in my closet and shoes to last me through winter. Yes I say "fuck my life" or "my life fails" quite a lot that you would think that I would be running out of money, running out of clothes, running out of the luxury of a first world civilian.

Why I complain and feel that my life is going so badly, because in all fairness it feels like that. So much has change in my life and so little has changed. For example, I have a few dress up items but I cannot get to them, they are in the storage, same goes for my sport shoes which I wanted to wear to run a little so I can lose wait, but Alas, I can't have them right now and the weight is piling up and the only other option is the playstation move, which has no cable, or had, so I couldn't use it, which leaves me doing nothing because you can't really work out on heels or barefeet when it is -1C outside. There are a lot of little things that just drive me completely crazy, having no proper wintercoat because me and my mum either decided to keep it in the storage or throw it out, on top of that I only took my cut up gloves but no ear coverage for the winter and the winter is here and the heater won't work and I got no proper winterclothes to keep me warm. Nothing seems to be going right and I don't have the motivation nor take the effort of making anything of my life. I am the failures of failures and I got no right to complain. It drives people crazy and I should just shut up and pretend to be a happy little gigi, because that is who I should be.

Inspiration for the title:


What Right have I? - Emilie Autumn

What right have I?
You are not mine
Nor will you ever be
I need not try
To read your sign
You don’t belong to me
I should not care
How you behave
What difference does it make?
Perhaps someday
You will grow brave
And from this sleep awake
But when you do
It will not then
Be caused by what I say
But by one who,
Like other men,
Holds you within her sway
And as I claim
No place within
The life you choose to live
I’ll stay the same
As I have been
And all your faults forgive
Perhaps I own
The privileged place
For worry I need not
I may condone,
Reprove with grace,
And still remain unfraught
With jealousies
And petty cares
And all that love demands
So as you please
I’ll save my prayers
And better use my hands
But why all this?
As I have said,
It matters not to me
What right have I?
You are not mine
Nor will you ever be