2012

2012 is overall a beautiful n umber, but it is just the number of the year we are living in and that is so trivial that I do not even bother to make it feel special. It is just another year and this is just another day and this day has become before the last one and tomorrow there will be another one. Life is shit and I know it.

I cannot even try to describe sadness, it is an overwhelming feeling of darkness, of sadness, it is not only part of your mind but also of your body. You can argue that I was a happy bumblebee during NYE, but that is only because for a moment I did not have to think of all the shit that goes on in my mind. I feel bad for making this a thing, because there are enough people who have it worse than me. But every day of my life I pray that I don't wake up, or that I wake up from this nightmare. All I can remember is pain and tears and if there are happy times it gets ruined by the fact that they are truly over, those relationships and times no longer exist.

Fuck off, fuck the fuck off, I a only repeating my miserable life. Fuck off.