Judge Death

I'm getting smaller and smaller and smaller
And I got nothing to say
It's all been taken away
I just behave and obey
I'm afraid I am starting to fade away

 You know I could forever talk about how perfect my life is, my home, my family, how they are loving and supporting, but it doesn't matter how hard I try to convince myself that everything is alright, it just isn't. I guess everybody thinks that this family is the perfect example of a family that works, but they are just excluding me out of the equation.

It seems that I am mocked, made fun of and nobody appreciates what I do. Today I even got a talk from my mum, that not she, but my niece and uncle were concerned that a cap underneath a picture of my that that suggested that he had a big of a perv moustache. Family condemns me for who I am and what I say and I am glad that I got two different facebook accounts, of which I rarely use one of them because I find it hard to pretend that I am not who I am.

I begin to doubt if there is actually a place for me in this world. Even my friends from far away do not really want to hear about how I feel, they just generally ignore it and go on with their on lives, seemingly ignoring their own problems too. This is not how I want to live my life, I do not do ignore, because I have done that before and that literally ended in me trying to kill myself. I would love to kill myself right now, just to be rid of everything, because it is just getting ridiculous, I don't know who to turn to anymore.