The Nutmeg Special

So yesterday night, after crying my eyes out and trying to go to bed and getting an almost panic attack and the walls were closing in on me, I decided to take action and get either drunk or anything. I remember that Nutmeg could get you high for a very long time. So desperate for something, anything, to make me feel different from the way I was feeling. I ground some nutmeg in the kitchen and took it up stairs to my bedroom to chug down my throat with some water. For a very long time I didn't feel anything happening. I stayed up till 6am, the sun rising into a pink sky, my head began to slightly spin. I decided to go to bed because I must be really tired. So I went to bed, feeling like I would fall into myself because my soul was too small to fill the shell that is my body. I woke up by my alarm clock and got out of bed again. My head was spinning much more, feeling like being drunk without feeling heavy, but the head spinning and my movements a bit off but much more controlled than when drunk.

It is now 8am-ish, I feel properly drunk, my limbs feel very heavy and when I close my eyes for one bit my head will drop on my keyboard, my balance is off and I now can no longer feel my fingers. I was afraid that it was going to be a bad trip as I had into it with a lot of negatives thought, now I just feel like I should do some running and singing.

Though, feeling like this, work will be a little harder. This would surely be DUI on a bike. My mouth is dry and my fingers are tingling, I am interested on how the rest of my day works out. At least this got me my humour back. Yesterday I would gave killed myself, now I am just enjoying the moment.