I have written about addiction before. This time it is going to be about something different though (ignore my horrid spelling I got no spelling check right now). This entry is how you become depended on something while it is commonly accepted.
Today, or rather this morning my internet started acting up and by night there was no internet connection on my PC at all anymore. I naturally panicked, the internet is my home, my PC and surroundins is the only place I feel safe and at that moment I lost my haven. As much as I tried with the basic knowledge I have and a little help from the internet I tried to get my connectin back up. All in vain, hence I am typng this blog from my Nintendo DS after spending time on the PC downstairs. But to me using a computer in an open space with others looking over my shoulders is like going to the loo at someone else`s place, highly uncomfortable. I was sitting downstairs with almost tears in my eyes panicking over my lack of internet privacy. It may seem like I am an complete and utter internet addict but thruth is, the internet is the place I live, it`s my drugs, it`s my breathing space. Without it I am left alone with myself, that is scarier than most things. It made me almost go and cut myself, I am so glad my mum took my razors a few days ago (read the sarcasm).
I am so glad that my Nintendo DS still gives me a little bit of my haven back, though it does not work so well for chats. My internet needs to be fixed soon else I will give in to the addiction of pain to make feel slightly better. I need my fix, my drugs one way or another. Now don`t think I am useless without intenet, I can perfectly well function without interet f I choose to, but this is not volunteerly. I am now forced to get tortured by the sight of my haven while not being able to use it. This must have been how Adam and Eve felt when they had left Eden, they knew it was around the corner but couldn`t reach it.
(I reached the character limit of my DS =/)
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