To help you out of the dream that might sprung to mind when reading the title, I'm not in love, nor will I probably ever will be to save myself from it's sharp claws that work their way into my heart. You might laugh at it and call me on my ridiculousness, but when love only hurts why would you try and love somebody. It's self-harm in a grotesque and melodramatic way, that even Shakespeare incorporated in almost every play he wrote and every sonnet.
The issue my heart is troubled with is one of feeling. I have loved before, but it has always ended up in some sort of drama. Not only does my heart hurt but the feeling of love is a complete stranger to my heart. When somebody tells me they care for me, love me as a friend or give me a compliment my heart stays unmoved. There is no feeling that connects with those words, there is a void in my heart that swallows all complimentary words. People have said to me that I'm always fishing for compliments when I speak negative about myself, but if I was fishing for compliments I would first need to actually have any feelings when I get a compliment.
My heart simply fills up with the darkness that life throws at me. The lights just flows around it but has nothing to attach itself to. I have bouts of happiness of love, of anything that is seen as positive, but it never lasts. It's a fleeting feeling that gets consumed by that everlasting black hole.
The only person that makes my heart glow a very special person and just has the power to make people love her without knowing it. She might just be one of the strongest human forces.
As I should stop rambling and get dressed and fix my nose, I should stop this shit and move on.
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