Le Mort Grotesque

"In letters the stars appear in the black blue sky of earth,
we dream the days will sooth our hopes,
fulfil our dreams and helps us cope."

Sometimes our dreams can be sought too high and when we find them we inevitably have to fall down because the air is too thin too breath and the wind too strong to keep holding on. When you look down you get too scared too fall, you are too high and the next platform is a long fall away. Your fingers can't keep holding on to that little ridge you are clinging on to. Is it time to plunge yourself into the depths of oblivion, so you don't have to wait for your fingers to get sore and tired?

We are only two weeks into this academic year and I already doubt everything and have let myself fall into a depression with a continuous suicidal feeling. It hasn't come to hurting myself yet, but I can see the dark clouds overhead and I keep being on the verge of no longer crying but bleeding. Whatever, bleeding is crying from your skin instead of your eyes, it is all the same thing, it is all the same sorry. Don't accuse me of having nothing to whiny about, to be unjustifiable depressed or anything. You can go on forever how my life is perfect, I got everything I want, that is essential to have a good life. Two parents that are together, a roof above my head, money to buy food with, no job to keep to be able to afford things, I mean it is all just splendid.