La Parti(r)ture de Giselle

I can see you rolling  your eyes at this blog entry, perhaps you despise me right this moment for even writing this down. Whatever your reaction might be on this entry, I do not wish anything from you right now, I can't wish for anything and I don't deserve to either.

For a second time I have done a run and hide, for the same reasons as last time. Too much going on in my mind, work to be done and I just want to stop being this emo kid that comes into chat to whine about her shitty life and her shitty mind. I mean, that is all I am in chat, that is all some of you see in me. Chat just brings out the worst in me. Because, what say you, I've got so many friends outside chat that want to listen to the little things in life that makes my mind go crazy and makes me want to top myself.

Don't go around telling or thinking that I must hate you, most think too little of you. Why would I ever think that, do play another "go find your own happy place, we don't need you" on me. Obviously I am just such a fucking tart that I cannot handle chat most of the time and abuse it as my personal diary to tell everyone how much my life sucks. Well, what fun is that? I just don't function properly and now I have such high stakes on the line, I don't want to blow it as I can't handle it right now, it has to be right or I have to be dead. *dramatic music plays* I just can't handle more failures from myself, by myself.

If you feel the desperate need to stay in touch with me through facebook, which I deleted for it's addictive nature, be happy that I got another facebook page, where I am not personal and mostly speak Dutch on. Mostly to keep up with some college and sorority things. But if you really feel the need to stay in touch with me or message me, find me on facebook under my real name, I know you know it.

Perhaps I will join that little meet-up, perhaps, mayhaps, someday.

For now it is just cheapbooze, homework and me.